The Never Figured Series: BtVS
by craZchica
Summary: SEMI-COMPLETE - A series of ficlets starring Buffy characters in... out of character activites. Always complete, but always ready for more.
1. Tearful Endings and New Beginnings

**The Never Figured Series  
Author: Mary (craZchica@simple-dreams.com)  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but Joss has given us fanfic writers permission to use them as we wish. I'm only following orders.  
  
This is the first in a series of really short ficlets about the secret vices of the scooby gang.  
  
I'm open to suggestions, so if you have an idea for any character that has appeared on Buffy (or Angel, as I'm planning on doing the LA gang too), please email me with the character and the vice you'd like to see. It can be a character that has already been done. And you'll get credit for the idea. Any characters you want, from Willow and Dawn, to a single episode character. Just let me know what you'd like to see! The basic idea is to have that character doing something that is completely OUT of character for them. Something you wouldn't expect.  
  
And as always, please review. *grins***  
  
  
**_Tearful Endings and New Beginnings_**  
  
*****  
  
The man she loved reached for her, just as the enemy stabbed him.  
  
But in his moment of apparent victory, the enemy lost his precious hold on the stone in front of him, and fell to his death.  
  
She pulled her love up to safety, but it wasn't enough. He was already passing. She listened to his soft sigh of happiness that he was able to see her, but she knew it was the end.  
  
A tear rolled down Spike's cheek as the scene played out. So much pain, so much suffering... finished in that moment. It was too late. He was gone.  
  
I love you.  
  
With that simple phrase from her tearstained lips, he was changed. The demon he once was, the beast he used to be, melted away to reveal a handsome man.  
  
The pain and suffering was ended with that simple phrase. Forgotten and replaced with happiness as his world changed from dark to light and rainy to sunny. Beautiful days were ahead...  
  
Never figured you one for Disney movies.  
  
Spike's head snapped from the screen to the doorway, where Buffy stood with a smirk.  
  
The Vampire answered by throwing her a dirty look, and bolting out of the crypt in embarassment.  
  
Buffy just laughed as the credits to Beauty and the Beast' played on the television.  
  
*****  
  
_About.com: What should fans do now that they have an extra free hour on tuesday nights?  
Joss Whedon: What should they do? Write fanfiction._  
  
**Check out my profile for links to my home site, my btvs and ats site, and my new clay aiken fanlisting. lol.**


	2. The Book

**The Never Figured Series  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but Joss has given us fanfic writers permission to use them as we wish. I'm only following orders.  
  
_This is the second in a series of really short ficlets about the secret vices of the whedon-verse characters. They have no real season/episode settings, but you can guess by places and characters involved.  
  
The Book_**  
  
*****  
  
She nodded and highlighted a passage in the well-worn book. Everything she knew had come from these pages. All of her talents could be traced back to a suggestion from the author. Before it was written, she hadn't had a clue.  
  
She knew it was embarrassing. She was known for her skill in this area - people came to her for advice. If they knew...  
  
Would they look at her differently? Of course, the only person whose opinion matter was Xander. Would he feel hurt that she hadn't told him? He was the one who benefited the most from this. Who could benefit most in the future, especially when they were alone...  
  
But they wouldn't find out. She only read when she was alone. When the lunch crowd had left the shop, she would pull out the book and study for a few quiet hours before the rest of the gang came in.  
  
She was bent over the counter in the Magic Box, reading so intently that she missed the bell announce that someone had entered the shop. Giles tilted his head and smiled softly.  
  
I must say, I never figured you one for reading that.  
  
Anya's eyes widened, and she slammed the book shut and ran to the bathroom.  
  
Giles chuckled as he walked behind the counter and re-read the title.  
  
_Money Management For Dummies_.  
  
*****  
  
_About.com: What should fans do now that they have an extra free hour on tuesday nights?  
Joss Whedon: What should they do? Write fanfiction._  
  
**Check out my profile for links to my home site, my btvs and ats site, and my new clay aiken fanlisting. lol.**


	3. The Party

**The Never Figured Series  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but Joss has given us fanfic writers permission to use them as we wish. I'm only following orders.  
  
_This is the third in a series of really short ficlets about the secret vices of the whedon-verse characters. They have no real season/episode settings, but you can guess by places and characters involved.  
  
this one goes out to SpikesLittleBit, who gave me the idea... *grin*  
  
***  
The Party  
***  
  
_**The finishing touches were added to the ensemble. A little blush here, some glitter there, and voila! An outfit even the most die-hard fan would be hard pressed to create.  
  
The plain card was checked once again to be sure of the time and date of the party. It simply wouldn't do to arrive late. Not with a costume so wonderful as this.  
  
Or maybe a dramatic entrance would be better? With the group involved, drama and entrances were everything. In fact, if you showed up on time, or snuck in quietly, you could very well wind up being the subject of rolling eyes and ridicule.  
  
Oh, if only that feather boa hadn't been ruined at the last gathering!  
  
Sighing, the corseted figure stumbled across the room. Scowling slightly at the new six inch black heels, a mental note was made to be extremely careful of any stairs.  
  
Grabbing car keys, the time was checked again. Whoops. Dramatic late entrance it would be! Singing softly, a quick look for the ever-elusive purse was made. Ah! There! Wig? Yes. Heels? Yes. Feather boa? Most unfortunately, no. Door opening? Yes... the door? Wait...  
  
  
  
Wide eyed and wincing, the ex-Watcher turned around to face an equally horrified red haired witch. But then a smirk started to appear on Willow's face, and her green eyes began to sparkle.  
  
Wow, Giles. Never figured you for a closet Sweet Transvestite'!  
  
Giles stood in the center of his living room in a large, black wig, a black leather corset, leather hot pants (which Willow tried to avoid looking at), fishnet hose, and those black stilettos. Tim Curry would have been proud.  
  
Speak of this, and I will find a spell to send you to an alternate dimension.  
  
As the man formerly known as Ripper' fled, Willow picked a card up off of the table and laughed.  
  


_You're invited to the  
Monthly Rocky Horror Picture Show  
Viewing Party!  
Dress to impress.  
  
_

*****  
  
_About.com: What should fans do now that they have an extra free hour on tuesday nights?  
Joss Whedon: What should they do? Write fanfiction._  
  
**Check out my profile for links to my home site, and the fanlisting for angel the series fanfiction :)**


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